Smiling through life with MS
Coming to terms with a chronic, progressive illness is like a death by a thousand cuts. It's grieving, but it's not like the standard grieving process, where you pass through the five stages from denial, occasionally cycling backwards but ultimately ending up at acceptance. Accepting MS is something I have to do over and over, each… Continue reading 101 Ways to be Happy #1: five days on the Jurassic Coast
I try to be positive about my life, I try to tell myself I have worth despite my illness, but sometimes things come at me out of left field that make me question whether I should bother. Yesterday I read a story in the news about Michael Forsyth, who is being asked to repay all… Continue reading Four things I’ve learned about the welfare state
Over two years ago, I wrote about preparing for an MRI scan of my brain and cervical spine (here) and how my husband was making me a CD to listen to in the scanner. Since then, I've had three more brain scans and I've fine-tuned my MRI playlist. I always meant to share it on… Continue reading Music to magnetise my brain by – a playlist
I'm experiencing a relapse. At least I hope I am. I hope I am because that would mean that the symptoms I have now are temporary. I am always tired, but right now I'm even more tired than usual. My balance is very poor, so sudden turns invariably result in a staggering that appears drunken… Continue reading My World
It's been rocky. Why did I ever think it wouldn't be? It's easy to make glib protestations about how you will still be in control of your future when you sell yourself the story about how you're going to overcome the demons you're grappling with, that you're going to turn your negatives into positives. All… Continue reading I’m back, and everything’s changing
I don't watch all that much TV, and when I do my viewing tends to be a guilty pleasure. I don't have the stamina to stay up late to watch the latest cult series, or the organisational skills to commit myself to following whatever the current Netflix talking point is. In the evening, when I've managed… Continue reading The ongoing myth of MS: an open letter to Holby City
The last few weeks have been a bit difficult, physically and mentally. My walking’s not been all that great and I’ve been so, so tired. At the same time, we’ve been having some building work done on our house so the whole place is full of dust and clutter – and although I’m far from… Continue reading Keeping my mind on the right track
I know I keep going on and on about the loneliness associated with an MS diagnosis, but it is possibly worse than the symptoms I have (which are constant, but thankfully relatively minor). In fact, I think it is the worst thing I have to contend with.I don't know anyone else with MS. There are… Continue reading A very useful resource
There is a soundtrack to my life, and much as I'd like to pretend that I challenge myself with constantly new experiences it is one that comforts me deeply with its routine.In the morning, Monday to Saturday, I wake to the Today programme on Radio 4. After some groggy shouting at politicians I disagree with,… Continue reading The unmitigated joy of Teatime Themetime
When I was a child, Christmas was my favourite, favourite time of the year. In fact, the whole slow sweep from October into the 25th of December was joyful to me, gradually gathering momentum until The Big Day. I loved the presents, of course, but more than that there was something ineffable about the nights… Continue reading Coming back to Christmas
Falling & Laughing 